Appearance As Anxiety Soother?
Here's how many times my appearance has helped me with real-life problems
Zero times have I self-soothed REAL anxiety, fear, loneliness, etc with my appearance.
Zero times has my body’s appearance helped me feel better about real problems that actually matter and bear weight.
ZERO.
And yet still, I think it’s so easy for us to put all this stock in the way we look.
As if, at the end of the day, when we’re worried about the future or whether or not we’re doing enough or making a difference or caring for our kids the “right” way or saving enough for retirement or generally making the most out of our one shot here on Earth…
the flatness of our stomachs, smoothness of our skin, firmness of our thighs… is going to make a dent in that worry.
I don’t know about you, but it literally *never* has for me.
During my restless nights where I wonder about the future of my business and how I’m going to fit in motherhood with womanhood with business-owner-hood, I’ve never thought, “Whew, but at least I weigh X lbs.😅 Everything is okay now!”
And listen, I’m not saying our appearance doesn’t matter or even that it shouldn’t (see: last week’s post.)
I’m saying:
the perceived importance of appearance often outweighs the actual importance.
And that’s a crucial distinction to make: that we think our body’s appearance is more important than it actually is.
This is just among the many things I keep in my Body Image Toolbox. I have those $h!tty phases too (lookin’ at you Aunt Flow), and especially when I’m hung up in comparing my body to others’, I try to just stop and take a second to remember that it’s really actually not that big of a deal.
I’ve just told myself it is.
And society has told me that, too.
And I’ve believed it.
I want to disrupt that narrative.
It’s okay to care about how your body looks, but remember your appearance is never going to be the thing that soothes real life aches & pains. 💕
And by consequence, remember to put time & energy into nurturing the things that actually can impact those things.